Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize