the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
