ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize