I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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