im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
