i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
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Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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