im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
