I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
