Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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