No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize