I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
