i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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