I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
