they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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