I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
