people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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