I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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