so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
