I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
