I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
