Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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