please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
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If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize