spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
