I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
