so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
