It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
