it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
