so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
