As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
