wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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