"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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