i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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