I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
