Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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