Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
honey bunches of taint.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
