Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
