a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
