we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
