Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Who put my cat in the fridge?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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