she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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