The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
