Pregnant stripper...not hot.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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