vagina is talking i cant
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
