What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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