Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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