that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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