Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
