I'm jealous of your bromance
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I love you. Go after that dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
