My nipple is on Facebook.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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