Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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