i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Enjoy the penises
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