My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
