with your own penis?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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