So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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