just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
