i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
