scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
