Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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